There is a monster inside of me. It feeds on anger, and grows with mischief.


I didn't set out to be this person. Well, not at first. First, it was for fun, a pass time. I had chose to make High School my own personal playground. And if she knew it or not, Marley followed in my footsteps.


Most people will believe, I've followed Marley. And, I've spent a lot of energy, making sure this is the way it appears. I don't want to be the front runner. I've molded Marley into what she has become, and for this, I feel guilty. Even more guilty than what I've done to myself.


Things evolve, on their own, when left alone.


Marley has been my rock, of sorts. My sounding board, and often times, my sanity. I needed her, she needed me. All of my secrets, up until now, were shared by Marley. We were in it together. But now, I held a secret of my own.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness,

and the feeling of being unloved.

-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Marley and I have an inside joke about my father. We've probably damned ourselves to hell for all eternity, for making fun of a man of God, but I'm willing to take my chances. We call him the "good preacher". Some times I swear his only goal in life, is to control mine.

My mother is a non-factor. Literally. She left me and my dad, when I was in the 6th grade. She took off with another man, and never looked back.

That was the day, my whole outlook on life, changed. I didn't want to live like my mother, or my father. I heard their regrets about High School, their regrets about each other, their regrets, about me.

Maybe, if they would've just lived their lives, the way they really wanted too, they would have no regrets. Regrets are ass.

I have no regrets. I have guilt out the ass, but no regrets. My life is exciting and adventurous. I've watched my peers, going through life, doing whatever their parents, and teachers told them. And they're all unhappy.

My peers are tools. Fake. Why not say what's on your mind, and do what you feel? Is it really so hard?

Now, I'm no dummy. I know, I need an education. I have a 4.0 grade point average. Marley, on the other hand, didn't take her studies as serious as she should, but to each his own.

The weekend had come and gone, and the school was buzzing over the party at Kevin's.

There were unanswered questions. I came to the realization that more eyes were on me, than I had thought.

"Minxy? Where are you going?" Marley yelled down the hall.

"I forgot my keys." I lied, heading towards the gym. "Left them in my locker."

"Want me to wait?"

"No. I'll see you later."

I was heading down the hall that housed the varsity and Jr. varsity locker rooms, equipment room, weight room and coaches offices. The end of the hall, spilled out onto the gym, dividing the guest bleachers from the home bleachers.

I hated going into the gym, when it was dark. I stepped out of the lit hall behind me, onto the hardwoods, and total darkness.

I stood, heart pounding, waiting for my eyes to adjust to darkness.

I gasped as Jake reached out in the darkness, pulling me into his arms. His lips found mine, kissing me hard.

"Stop scaring me." I smiled.

Jake pulled us deeper into the darkness, towards the guest side of the bleachers. There was a faint red glow from an exit sign, over a side door.

Jake closed the gap between us. "You drove me crazy all day." He confessed. "I thought about us Friday, in my truck. It's hard seeing you all day, and not being able to touch you."

I leaned in, my lips close to his ear. "Crazy, huh?" I whispered.

Jake swallowed hard. "Yeah."

We both froze. Some one was coming down the hall, towards the gym. Their footsteps echoed off the concrete walls.

Jake quickly pulled us up into the bleachers, completely covered by darkness. He had pulled my body on top of his, when he sat down, on a step. I could feel his heart racing against my back. His breath steady against my ear. He smelled incredible.

"I told you, we shouldn't meet here." It was Marcus Mantley. Mr. Mantley is the high schools guidance counselor.

"Sorry."

I heard my breath catch, from surprise. I watched as Mrs. Kale reached out, pulling Mr. Mantley closer. Amber Kale is my cheer leading coach. She leaned in, kissing him.

Mr. Mantley and Mrs. Kale were both, married.

"Amber." Mr. Mantley pulled away. "Did you take care of it yet?"

"I'm working on it." She sighed. "Things aren't going as smoothly as I thought they would."

"What's the problem? There should be no problems. Get the life insurance policy."

"He has one. His mother is his beneficiary."

"Get him to switch it. We can't finish until he names you beneficiary."

"I know that Marcus." She snapped. "I'm working on it."

"Not so loud." Mr Mantley hushed her. "Meet me tomorrow." He leaned in kissing her on the forehead.

They turned, leaving the gym together, heading back down the hall. We were waiting, listening for the doors to close, that lead to the parking lot.

"What the hell was that?" Jake whispered, looking around the darkness.

His eyes locked with mine, and I knew he was thinking the same thing as me. This gym holds a lot of secrets, and we, just like Mr. Mantley and Mrs. Kale, were counting on it to hold them. I felt a panic deep down inside, and hoped, unlike Mr. M and Mrs. K, ours would be our own.